“She sent the gift to my brother and I.”
Drop ‘my brother and.’ You’d say ‘to me,’ not ‘to I.’
Usage Entry 12 / 1011 60-second read
Me vs. I
When you’re the subject versus when you’re the object.
The comparisoni
“She sent the gift to my brother and me.”
‘Me’ is the object of ‘to.’ Politeness doesn’t change the grammar.
More examplesii
01
My wife and me were invited to the gala.
My wife and I were invited to the gala.
Subject position: WE were invited → my wife and I were invited.
02
The invitation was sent to my wife and I.
The invitation was sent to my wife and me.
Object of ‘to’: sent to US → sent to my wife and me.
The ruleiii
¶
Test it alone.
Remove the other person and read the sentence again. If ‘I’ sounds wrong, it is wrong.
Notesiv
Register
The ‘and I’ hypercorrection (‘between you and I,’ ‘for my wife and I’) is extremely common in speech. Getting it right is one of the quiet markers of careful writing.
Watch for
‘Between you and me’ — always. ‘Between you and I’ feels refined but is wrong.
Memory aidv
Remember it like this
Between you and me — always. Never ‘between you and I.’
In the wildvi
Real-world-style usage — how this looks in a sentence people would actually write.
- Between you and me, the proposal has problems — and my co-author and I already told the committee.
- The photographer took a picture of my brother and me at the wedding; my brother and I were both unprepared.
Test yourselfvii
Which is right?